It is 3 a.m. Toots is still gagging and having difficulty. This situation is beyond what I can offer her for help. I am taking her back to the Vet today to have her admitted into the hospital. Last night they sent me home with a stack of pills, to treat her ‘beginning stages of pneumonia’. I was supposed to get four pills into her each morning and each evening... after she ate. Well, try getting one pill in, much less four! This routine, though necessary, was surely going to ruin our relationship. Then to further this, she wont eat. All night Alex, Charlee, Daddy and I paced around the dog... worried. What is going to happen?

When I broke the news to the kids that she has to go back - meaning the Vet - in unison they begged ‘NO!’ I said ‘she has to she is too sick and she needs to be in the hospital.’ Again in unison they said ‘Oooohh, we though you were giving her back to the shelter’ This is one of the few times in life I think I will see my children unified and working together.

They wholeheartedly agreed as Toots went thru yet another choking spell. This is not fun. With every fit Charlee pleaded ‘Mommy, I just can’t stand to see her suffer any more!’

Frank and I had to talk the kids into going to bed. Nothing was going to happen to Toots - I hoped - that we haven’t witnessed already, she just needs to sleep so she can get better.

We rigged the cage up to the entrance of the kitchen. That way if she is hungry she would be able to eat or drink. Besides she was starting to have productive coughs... much easier to clean up the kitchen floor than my rugs.

As usual, Daddy took the night watch. I went in early for some much needed sleep. Now here I am at 3 a.m. again. The older I get the worse my sleeping patterns get. For the life of me I can’t seem to get past 5:30 a.m. And given all that is going on this morning was a 3 a.m. rouse.

Frank was up helping Toots who was in the midst of another episode. Poor dog, poor Daddy. I was so happy to see my furry child and thankful that she was happy to see me too. We exchanged greetings quietly. It was not the time for loudness. Daddy and Mommy did the evening pass off. Relaying necessary information and hugging and kissing our support and thanks for the prospect of sleep. Mine for being able to have gotten some and Franks for the sleep he was about to get.

Toots did not eat any of the food I left out for her. A disappointment for sure. At least if she was eating I felt she was not too bad... now, with the food still in the bowl, I don’t know what to think.

I sat on the floor with her and petted her warm fuzzy head. She is so lovey. She laid her head right in my lap just so she could be close.

I wasn’t comfortable on the cold floor, so I went into the living room. There we laid, snuggling and exchanging eye glances. I tapped my mental massage archives for anything that would relieve the pain of pneumonia. She eagerly accepted the treatment. She allowed me to turn and adjust her body so I could access different areas... interesting animal... she held each position until the spot was deemed finished. I was happy to see that it was helping. She started to relax and actually fell asleep. Since we were both feeling some relief I decided to come in here and write. Toots joined me laying only few feet away. I feel so much better when I write, and lately there has been so much to write about. I don’t want to forget anything... although I don’t think I will. My mind has been etched by a furry, freckled eared, snowy white angel.

I am on a puppy roller coaster ride... one of a life time and hopefully that life time won’t be cut short by this sucky illness.